1
Telling: Nia was nervous. Showing: Nia read the room number for the third time, then wiped her palm against her coat before touching the handle.
11 Show, Don’t Tell Examples
Use these examples to study structure, specificity, tone, and variation. They are demonstrations—not claims about a real person or organization unless the example itself makes that explicit.
Before you copy
What to notice in the examples
Good fiction uses both showing and telling. Showing is valuable for emotionally important or interpretive moments; telling is efficient for transitions, repeated actions, background, and information that does not deserve a full scene.
- Identify the abstract statement you want the reader to understand.
- Choose one or two observable details that would imply it.
- Filter those details through the viewpoint character.
- Keep summary when dramatizing the information would slow the story without adding value.
2
Telling: The apartment was neglected. Showing: Three unopened utility notices were wedged beneath the door, and a saucepan sat beneath the leak in the ceiling.
3
Telling: He disliked the proposal. Showing: He turned to the budget page, circled one number twice, and slid the document back without signing.
4
Telling: The dog was old. Showing: The dog considered the two porch steps for a moment before lowering one stiff paw to the ground.
5
Telling: They had been close once. Showing: She still knew the four digits he used for every suitcase lock.
6
Telling: The storm was getting worse. Showing: Rain began striking the windows sideways, and the streetlights disappeared one by one behind the water.
7
Telling: Mara was angry. Showing: Mara folded the letter into smaller and smaller squares until the paper split along the crease.
8
Efficient telling: For the next three weeks, he took the same train, ordered the same coffee, and avoided the same unanswered message.
9
Telling “The committee rejected three versions before approving the fourth” is stronger than staging three repetitive meetings whose only purpose is to prove that rejection happened.
10
Showing becomes valuable when interpretation matters: “He congratulated her without looking up from the revised org chart” gives readers evidence of a complicated reaction instead of labeling it jealousy.
11
Ravi answered the first question before the interviewer finished asking it, then folded the corner of his résumé until the paper split.
Keep the underlying decision or pattern, then replace the subject, evidence, relationship, constraints, and tone with details that belong to your situation. If your final line still works after swapping only one noun, it may be too close to the example.