Before drafting

Facts to confirm with the family

  • Full legal or preferred name, including spelling and any former names the family wants included.
  • Date of death and, if included, age and birth details.
  • Places lived only when relevant and verified.
  • Education, work, service, organizations, interests, values, and accomplishments selected for significance.
  • Close family relationships using the family’s preferred wording.
  • Service date, time, location, livestream, visitation, burial, reception, donation, or flower instructions.
  • A contact or funeral-home source for final factual verification.
Fill-in framework

Obituary template for a brother

[Full Name], [age if desired], of [place], died on [date].

[Name] was born [verified birth detail if desired] and spent much of [their] life [one or two factual sentences about education, work, community, family, or place]. [They] were known by the people close to [them] for [specific qualities that can be shown through a brief detail]. Outside of [work/role], [Name] enjoyed [specific interests, routines, causes, crafts, sports, music, gardens, travel, community service, etc.].

[Name] is remembered by [family and important relationships, using the family’s chosen wording]. [Predeceased relationships, if the family wants them included.]

A [funeral/memorial/celebration of life] will be held at [venue] on [date] at [time]. [Visitation/reception/livestream/burial details]. In place of flowers, [verified request, if any].

The family is grateful for [optional care/community acknowledgement].

Draft for the destination

Prepare more than one obituary length

Short notice

Name, death, core relationships, service information, and one approved closing detail.

Standard obituary

Add a concise life summary, important relationships, work or community roles, and a few character details.

Long memorial version

Use more stories and context on a funeral-home or family memorial page where space permits.

Private family draft

Keep a fuller factual version for relatives to review before public publication; this reduces errors and accidental omissions.

Verification workflow

Fact-check the obituary for your brother

  • Ask one family member to verify spelling, dates, relationships, and service details against primary records where possible.
  • Ask a second reader to check names that are easily confused, including middle names, maiden names, partners, and grandchildren.
  • Confirm whether “predeceased by,” “survived by,” and blended-family relationships reflect the family’s preferred wording.
  • Verify organizations, military units, schools, employers, awards, and titles before publication.
  • Recheck every venue, date, time, donation link, and livestream link on the final proof—not only in the draft.
  • Remove private addresses, unnecessary medical details, or information that could create security or identity risks.
Writing style

Keep the obituary warm without turning it into unsupported praise

  • Prefer concrete evidence of character over strings of adjectives.
  • Use dates and chronology to orient the reader, but do not let the obituary become a résumé.
  • Include hobbies, community roles, traditions, or routines only when they help readers recognize the person.
  • Avoid private conflict, disputed family history, or medical detail unless the authorized family specifically chooses to include it.
  • Be consistent about names and pronouns throughout the notice.
  • Read the final proof as a stranger would: can every relationship and service detail be understood without insider knowledge?
Practical answers

Obituary drafting questions

Who should approve an obituary before publication?

Ideally the person or small group authorized by the immediate family. Different relatives may remember facts differently, so identify who has final approval.

Should the cause of death be included?

Only if the family chooses to publish it. It is not required for a warm, informative obituary.

How do I handle a complicated family structure?

Ask the family how relationships should be named and ordered. Do not infer marital status, parentage, estrangement, or preferred names.

Can I reuse the same obituary everywhere?

Often you will need different lengths. Newspaper notices may be concise or priced by length, while memorial websites can accommodate a fuller version.

Publication check

Do not let warmth outrun accuracy

  • Do not guess ages from dates or infer family relationships from social media.
  • Ask whether stepfamilies, chosen family, former spouses, partners, and close friends should be named and how.
  • Proof the final service information separately from the tribute paragraphs.
  • Check the funeral home or publication deadline before writing to a word count.